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God Hand Review - PS2

Introduction

I just realised i have a problem. A serious, serious problem. You see, I like cheese. No, I love cheese. I can't get enough. From Guilty Gear's cheese rawk soundtrack that blasts from my computer speakers even as I write this review to the game that I'm reviewing itself, I have a love affair with cheesy that would render anyone remotely lactose intolerant comatose.

Make no mistake: If you do not enjoy the fermented curd side of the gaming spectrum, you probably won't like God Hand. If you like your gameplay varied and your level design nothing short of awe inspiring, you will be disappointed.

There are games that take themselves seriously. There are games that like to deal with philosophical issues such as the self and political ramifications of industry, large corporations and resources. Then there is God Hand.

God Hand does not bother with lengthy exposition. Cut scenes serve only to further the plot as minimally as necessary while introducing strange new characters to fight and give them some awesomely cheesy dialogue to spout off. God Hand feels like a relic, buffed up to a barely modern shine. The presentation could do with a little work, it's true, but God Hand succeeds where many games fail. It is fun. It tries to be nothing more than it is and all it wants to be is a blast.

God Hand opens with a simple introduction. Gene and his lady friend enter a town and Gene is told to beat up some ruffians who come towards them. Gene makes a crack about them being sexier than his companion and that's all you really need to know.

You're going to beat someone up. Mission received. It's the same for every cinematic: Absurd characters and dialogue, mission set up, Gene gets bossed into doing it. Mix in some love story and you're set.

The dialogue is ridiculous and cheesy in the best of ways. The story is about a man with the power of god in one hand taking n demons who eat humans and treat them like toys in an old west setting set to an absurd yet totally fitting rock soundtrack.

Gameplay

Gene controls like a tank, with a set up not dissimilar to that of Resident Evil 4. With no less than six buttons devoted to beating people up, God Hand soon reveals its true purpose: Violence. Lots of ridiculous violence delivered with as much cheese as possible.

Not only do you have more than one hundred moves at your disposal, you can customise the controls so your favourite moves are at your fingertips, at any point in the game. On top of the standard moves (if moves like “pimp hand” “granny slap” and drunken fist” can be called standard) you have the Roulette wheel.

The Wheel allows you to pull off a super move that will devastate your opponents, while releasing the brace on the (continued next page)